Dear Hannah Grace,
Thank you for the incredible blessing that you are in our lives. Hannah; Mummy and Daddy love you more than we ever imagined was even possible. And we now miss you more than we ever imagined was possible.
For the 38 weeks that I carried you, I loved you and sacrificed everything I could for you. I had nausea constantly for 4 months, was careful about what I ate, suffered through pain in my ribs because you insisted on kicking them, got a sore back, and was too uncomfortable to sleep… to name just a few things! You were so active inside me; which was tiring sometimes, but also comforting and reassuring. We were so thankful that God had gifted you to us – what a privilege to be entrusted with your care.
When we found out you might have a life threatening condition, your Daddy and I were heartbroken. We were even more horrified when the doctors suggested aborting you; we loved you far too much, and would never even consider that. Instead we fought for you with everything we had, and I think you knew that. Through all our numerous hospital appointments, your Daddy and I did everything we could to make decisions that would love and protect you. It has been a very hard journey though. The pregnancy and birth were the hardest and scariest times of my life, but it was so worth the pain – I would do it all over again if it would grant me even 6 more days with you.
Hannah Grace, you and I shared such a special Mother – Daughter bond. From the moment I held you we were completely bonded. I couldn’t bear to be apart from you! I loved to hold you close, kiss you, talk to you, sing to you, and pray for you. And you seemed to enjoy it too, as you settled and snuggled in my arms. Some of my favourite memories are of the times when you were lying in my arms, awake and gazing intently into my eyes. The doctors couldn’t believe how alert and responsive you were! You are definitely the most beautiful baby I have ever seen… with your sweet dark hair, beautiful blue eyes, perfect little nose, and gorgeous pink lips. You melted Daddy and my hearts, and the hearts of everyone else who met you too. Hannah, I hope you know how much joy you brought to so many people.
Your Daddy and I prayed for you every day from the time we found out I was pregnant; as did other family members, friends, and even strangers, all around the world. We prayed for healing, but for some reason that wasn’t to be. It doesn’t seem fair, I struggled to understand how God would give you to us and then allow you to be taken away again. I can’t imagine any baby being more prayed for before even being born. Maybe this is how you were able to touch so many people in such a short time! Darling girl, do you have any idea how many lives you have touched? How many people you have brought closer to the Lord? You radiated God’s love. Do you know how many people who never even got to meet you, still miss you? Do you know that you have left a significant legacy here on this earth? And that your legacy is continuing, well past your time here?
I still can’t believe I held you and watched you die in my arms. Because I love you so much, those hours were the hardest and longest of my life. I will never forget that last day with you – numerous times you stopped breathing. Each time I would hold you up to my face and kiss you and tell you I loved you; and you would open your eyes, snuggle into me, and start breathing again. We loved each other so much! Sadly although you fought for so long to remain in my arms, and I fought to keep you there, the Lord was calling you home. As I finally accepted that we had to give you back to Him, you took your final breath. It was like you knew I was allowing you to go. As I held you and wept desperately, I knew you had left this world and were safe in the arms of God; but the thought of life without you was so painful. We feel so empty now that you are gone, and every day without you here is hard. We can’t wait to be reunited with you in heaven.
I love you and miss you darling Hannah Grace. Please know that you will always be my little girl. My first child. My beautiful princess. And I will always be your proud Mum. Hannah, you will forever be precious to me and close to my heart.
Lots of love,
Mummy
