On Thursday, October 20th, Jeremy and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary! Our wedding feels like a long time ago, and it feels like our lives were so different back then. We never could have imagined that 4 years on, we would be grieving the loss of our first child.
Our wedding day
Jeremy took Thursday off work so that we could spend the day together, which was really nice. We bought lunch and had a picnic at the beach, and went out for dinner. I am so thankful for my amazing husband; he is so loving, thoughtful, and sacrificial. He provides for, and protects, our family – and this has been particularly evident this year as he has done so for both his wife and his daughter. Jeremy was such an amazing Dad, as I knew he would be! As I watched the strong bond he had with Hannah Grace, and saw how devoted he was to loving her and protecting her in every way possible, my love and respect for him grew even further. Hannah was his little princess, and she adored him. I can’t imagine walking this grief journey without Jeremy by my side. Something like this tests a relationship; but so far, thanks to the Lord, it has strengthened ours. I am so thankful to the Lord for the amazing family he has blessed me with – an incredible husband, and a beautiful daughter.
Jeremy and I on our anniversary
Although I really enjoyed our anniversary day, and am so thankful for our amazing marriage, the day also made me sad. Because it was another reminder that Hannah isn’t here now. As we had been thinking this year about our anniversary, we were expecting not to be able to do too much, as we would have a new baby. We were excited by the thought that we would celebrate as parents this year! Once Hannah died, and I realised once again we had the freedom to do whatever we wanted on our anniversary, I was actually really sad. I didn’t want to have this freedom! I wanted to be more tied down at home, fitting our celebration around a baby’s schedule or a babysitter. But Jeremy was really understanding towards how I was feeling (it was the first time I have cried on a wedding anniversary!), and loved me in a way that was so sensitive to my needs.
We planted a lemon tree for our wedding anniversary (4 years is represented by flowers and fruit)…
And we also planted a tree in memory of Hannah Grace. This was a really thoughtful gift from a friend.
Thank you, Jeremy, for loving me like Christ loves the Church. You honour me and point me towards the Lord. Happy 4 year anniversary… I look forward to celebrating many more with you!