Today, Oct 4th, is one month since our beautiful Hannah Grace went to be with the Lord. I thought the pain would be getting easier over time, but in many ways it seems to be getting harder. I have been trying to work out why this is, and I think it's because it is longer and longer since I have held my daughter in my arms. Every day that passes, is one more day away from our time with Hannah. And this hurts! The memories aren't fading, but they feel like so long ago. My arms feel so empty - I am a new Mum, totally in love with my gorgeous daughter, and yet I can't hold her :( As time goes by, the reality is sinking in more and more that I will never hold her again. Until I see her in heaven, that is, but for me heaven is most likely far too long away to be counting down to yet! I am thankful that in the meantime, God is holding her for me.
The memories from that day one month ago are painful. I held my daughter for 17 long hours, with only one short break, and had to watch her deteriorate and die in my arms. Somehow, God gave us the strength to get through. But I will never forget the pain of that day, as we had to farewell the most precious gift God had ever given us.
Hannah - Mummy and Daddy love you and miss you a lot.